the house update is not very much of an update… all aforementioned issues are still issues, the landlord is out of town on business until monday… and i can’t move any furniture in because the front door is still nailed shut and getting a couch or a bed (yes, i’m finally getting a bed) through the maze of back doors is literally impossible. you win some, you lose some… you don’t pay rent until you can actually occupy the house.

since i had planned on moving yesterday and that fell through… i was bored with no plans. what do you do when you’re bored with no plans? i considered a movie, but neither eternal sunshine of the spotless mind or the united states of leland are playing here and nothing else seems interesting. admittedly, that’s one of the few things i’m not a big fan of where i live… if it’s not a mainstream release movie (and i rarely want to see mainstream release movies) it’s not coming here. you win some, you lose some, you drive to g’ville on your day off to see a movie or two.

so, back to last night. i read the phone book. not the whole thing, although i know reading only a little of it is still pretty i-have-zero-social-life of me. but, greatness will be passed your way soon and the fruits of my labors (boredom) are not in vain. i give you the best and/or funniest and/or weirdest and/or my-god-your-’rents-were-evil names in anderson, sc… letters “A” through “G”. if you know any of these people… yeah. just yeah. (i promise i’m not making any of these up.)

Junior Arms, Gardenia Bash, Crow Bear, Ronald Biscopink, Bill Blossom, Major Bolt, Ralph Bowling, Rusty Brewer, Ronald Burgers ( ! ), Faith Burns, Pattie Butts, A. Carr, Lover Lee Chancler, Keys Clamp Jr., D. Clang, Gene Claypool ( ! ), Krystal Clear, Dan Coughenhour, Scott Covert, Ed V. Coward, Chris Craze, Berry Creamer, Barbie Cruse, William Dafoe (lives here? what?), Barney De Wease Jr., B. Doomey, Dixie Drinkard, Mary B. English, L. B. Eskew, O. Estrich ( ! ), Frank Fairey, Fannie Farmer, Francoise Fishoff, Lane Freeze, A. Friend, Robert B. Funk, Chase Furnas, Tulip Fusco, Bunnie Gaines, C. R. Gerth ( ! ), and Gloria Gusmus.

why do bands struggle to come up with good names? look no further than your phone book, kids. i suppose in the event of massive boredom on a future evening, letters “H” through “Z” will be reported to you in similar fashion.

i need some color in my life.

yesterday was my first day in the new house. of course, that means i wrote $1200 worth of checks to cover first month’s rent and the security deposit. so, i should be going “yaaay” right? wrong, wrong, wrong. let’s look at the facts.

my do-it-yourself-er landlord… hasn’t finished everything he said he was going to finish. normally, when someone says “the house will be ready for you to move into on the 15th” you think, “sweet, i’ll start moving stuff in on the 15th.” or… not. off the top of my head… the front door still doesn’t work because someone kicked it in a few weeks ago and stole some of his tools, so he just nailed it shut (i kid you not), the dishwasher is neither hooked up nor attached to the counter, the oven hood doesn’t work, there are no drawer pulls or handles on any of the cabinets in the kitchen or the bathroom (which makes things like, i don’t know, opening them difficult), my bedroom light doesn’t work, various amounts of his tools, paint supplies, etc. are still in a few of the rooms, there is a pile of trash the size of a suburban in the back yard, there is a pile of tree limbs the size of two suburbans in the back yard, the back porch is full of trash, the front porch is covered in limbs and leaves, one of the columns on the front porch isn’t really attached to the house, there is a dirty mop (?) leaning against the other column, etc, etc, etc. oh, and i spent an hour last night cleaning the mold and dirt out of and off of the refridgerator. fun. on top of all that, the repainting he did is ridiculously bad… in every room and the bathroom tile he put in is a joke.

sound like a $600-a-month house? not in anderson, sc. yes, we’ll be having a talk tonight.

BUT, in all that, i’m not really that frustrated. promise. no, seriously… it will all work itself out, my house will rock. and inbetween now and the rocking, i will learn more about patience and how to show love to my non-believing landlord through the whole situation. dear God… please help me not rage on him.

yesterday… some frustrating conversation. trying to figure out how to handle opposite sex friendships… what lines not to cross, what actually goes on in the mind of most women (it’s scary, guys… scary). seriously, sometimes it makes me just want to stay in my house and never come out for fear that some lady i show the least bit of attention to is going to take that attention and see it as pursuit or singling her out… when that’s the last thing on my mind. i know being a hermit is an extreme point of view… but i’m just being honest here.

it’s frustrating to know how little words really matter. (i’m a songwriter for goodness sake, words are supposed to be important, dangit!) i have learned the hard way to be much more blunt and harsh in some friendships than i want to be, just to make sure there’s no miscommunication. none of the “well, he said this but he really must mean this.” anyway, in the learning process, which has sucked, i think i’ve got a little bit better of a hold on reigning in my actions to match up with my words. trying not to make promises with my actions (whether it’s only a woman reading into my actions or whether i’m actually crossing the line) that i’m not willing (or wanting) to follow through on. growing up sucks.

i, of course, spent some of yesterday afternoon trying to get out all those thoughts into song form.

under the table
03.14.04 @ 20:01

in all honesty, i’m not in love
and i wish i was ’cause it gets lonely
so if you know her name, slip me the key
so i can see the hand tomorrow’s holding

i say no promises were made
but promises get made in quiet ways
every day, every time
they’re under the table in disguise

anyday, i’ll figure out
who i’m supposed to be… anyday now
but in the meantime i’m through with crossing your lines
just to fall for the traps of my own design

i say no promises were made
but promises get made in quiet ways
i say no promises were made
but promises get made in quiet ways

i can’t see the war inside
the grey in your mind
seems so black and white
from the outside looking in

every day, every time
they’re under the table in disguise
they’re on the sly

alright, maybe if i go out on a limb and type it, then i’ll follow through on it.

i want to have a “real” website up by the end of july. by “real” i mean my own server space, domain name, a portfolio of design work including new spring stuff, freelance work, and personal art, mp3′s, photography, and the ability for you to buy t-shirts (haiku poetry shirts? you know you want to one… or eight.) and stickers and posters and whatever else i decide to make so you can help support my raging drug addiction. ok, kidding… you wouldn’t be helping support it, you’ll love my stuff so much you’ll be single-handedly supporting it.

why a website? because it is the mountain, and i must climb it.

the domain name possibilities, all of which are currently available, are as follows. (we must do a dot com, because dot org sounds ridiculous and dot net just screams “i wasn’t clever enough or quick enough to get the dot com.” all the other options are of the down hill from here variety.)

1.) www.joshuablankenship.com. BOOOOOORING. it’s my name and i don’t even want to vote for it.

2.) www.artwrk.com, which was the originally intentended site name.

and then… the dark horse, the underdog, the one no one expected, sneaking up and tapping me on the shoulder, haunting my dreams at night, extremely long but still catchy…

3.) www.yourcreativitydollarsatwork.com

hmm… four months to decide.

CLICK ME… AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ha. hmm. random? yes. but funny. (i mean, what? would they not give the big ape a freaking library card? forced him into a life of crime? animals…)

in other news…

interesting movie coming out soon called saved! i’m definitely curious. check out the trailer, then we’ll talk.

i know you can’t judge a movie by the trailer all that well, but here are my initial thoughts. 1.) i’m going to see it. 2.) it feels a little over-the-top… but i’ve never lived in the christian school world, so maybe it isn’t that off-base. 3.) the trailer seems to take some easy jabs at cultural christianity, i want the movie as a whole to tackle the topic with a little more authenticity. 4.) some vehemently non-christian folks in positions of influence (REM’s michael stipe produced it.) i am interested to see what point-of-view this film is coming from and if it’s got a chip on its shoulder. (and if the criticism of christians is, in fact, well-deserved.) 5.) i’m still going to see it.

i’m glad to see a film dealing with the impact of christian faith and culture… i just hope that it comes across as real…

two things…

1.) clay kitten shooting. i kid you not. it’s funnier than duck hunt. it’s also harder than duck hunt… but the sound effects are so money it’s worth being humiliated by being bad at a stupid video game.

2.) a project i put together at lunch b/c i was bored and lacking any inspiration. enjoy.

i suppose we’ll do the rock show recap first… then we get on with the OUTRAGEOUS THURSDAY™ post-game. and away we go…

we had row P seats. you can do the math if you need a number, but it’s too early in the morning for me to think about math. whatever the case, good seats in the middle on the floor. guster opened the show in fine fashion. i’ve seen them a few times now, opening for mayer once last summer and a few headlining shows. they are infinitely better in larger venues. i think it’s because the thundergod’s percussion kit sounds so much… HUGE-ER (yep… huge-er) and the reverb-drenched vocals tend to soar a little more in a big hall as opposed to a club. i’d post a pic of thundergod (no, not this thundergod) in action… but they’re all blurry. even 400 speed film can’t catch him. scary fast.

ok… soapboxing time. ladies… seriously. have you ever looked at john mayer? seen a picture of him? i’m not talking about the airbrushed, magazine cover type… i mean a real picture. please disengage whatever that stupid, illogical thing is in the female species that immediately freaks out for musicians on stage despite what they look like, how they act, the fact that you’d never give them the time of day if they weren’t famous, etc. and look at him objectively. he is not an attractive man. you have been fooled by your own womanly tendencies. amazing guitar player? check. promising songwriter? check. big lanky, large-headed, arms-so-skinny you think “how does he even hold that guitar up?” goofy dork? check. welcome to reality, ladies. most of us live here. the minute he hit the stage… floods of decieved women charged the middle aisle. ew. luckily… the bilo center is a well-run venue and they were quickly led like cattle back to their nose-bleed seats. moo. get a life. fall for someone real. (and cute, for goodness sakes…) soapboxing… over and out.

mayer’s set was good. let’s talk about the current band. dela is one of the best bass players on tour these days. he’s never in the way, but man, you’d miss him if he weren’t there. j.j. johnson is now in my top ten favorite drummers. he played on one track on heavier things, but he’s the perfect fit for the live gig. simple kit set-up, simple riffs… hits so hard it makes you go “ow.” love it. now then… the esteemed david ryan harris… is so fun to watch on stage that you find yourself getting lost in whatever that little boogie-shuffle groove thing he does the whole show. (did i just imply that i watched drh’s butt for most of the show? oh crap, did i just say i watched drh’s butt for most of the show?) seriously, though… while i love david ryan harris’ music… i’m at a loss as to why he’s on this tour playing in mayer’s band. he plays acoustic on about half of the set, electric on one song (hummingbird… a new one, and admittedly, he’s needed to pull that song off) and the only singing he did at the show was some snippets of prince and marvin gaye in the middle of your body is a wonderland. the only thing that makes sense to me, is mayer just wanted to bring his friend on tour and give him so well-deserved exposure. which, if that’s true, sounds like something i would do if i was ever a famous rock star. (unlikely, kids.) the rest of the band is good, too. the two guys playing horns? love it, love it, love it.

my only complaint about the set, ironically, is that mayer played too much acoustic. coming from the acoustic guitar-lover… mayer’s not really a great acoustic player. he’s ok… but not exactly subtle. and in comparison to his electric playing? just leave the martin signature acoustics at home, john. not enough rock. not enough “solo-ing”…

all in all, though… great show.

OUTRAGEOUS THURSDAY™ was… far from outrageous, but it was relaxing, which is what the day off is all about. seriously, having thursdays off has saved my life lately. i feel quite well-rested. the run-down? i did some errands (in my sis’s truck… b/c my truck is still dead. sigh…), went to the book store for a little while, and wrote songs for the rest of the day. (3 and a half to be exact, a good day) MCD and i have basically concluded that every other thursday off is OUTRAGEOUS THURSDAY™… the rest of them are RELAXING THURSDAY™. a fair trade. i’ll take it.

it was a cheat day today… i’m pretty sure i just ate the most unhealthy lunch i will ever attempt to digest. 2 hotdogs (i eat hotdogs maybe twice a year?), a coca cola classic, a pack of cheese-on-cheese crackers (2 free crackers… 39¢… how can you turn down a deal like that, bargain shoppers?), and little chocolate doughnuts… you know, the ones that taste like wax and have the piece of white cardboard in the bottom of the pack? fat grams consumed? incalculable by human standards.

also, i laughed for quite awhile after reading this. and then i printed it out to put on my office wall.

i have been getting the best sleep ever for the past few nights. just wanted to share.

just found out i’m playing the open mic night at coffee underground next wednesday. they do open mic up right, with a host musician, and six other songwriters who get 15 minutes a piece to share. i’m really looking forward to it… the whole “thing” they have going on with acoustic seen is great… focusing on acoustic talent around the area and really trying to foster a place where people can share. though, to be honest, i’m not quite sure how i’ll “fit in” with the local acoustic scene here. i sure ain’t folk… i don’t quite know what i am… but it’s not folk. so… next wednesday… coffee underground… corner of main st and coffee st in g’ville… three dollars well spent.

speaking of music… tonight we see guster open for john mayer and his (now) huge band. yaaay. fun times will ensue… and karl will try her best to meet scotty crowe, road and merch manager for the stars (or at least for mayer) and all-around hysterical road journal writer. by the way, i just found a scotty crowe fan club live journal. i think it’s gone too far… luckily, it’s a fairly sparsly populated live journal community. if it were thriving… some people might need to get the “you need a life” talk.

uh oh… wait for it… i actually found a real scotty crowe fan club site… and it’s a pretty nicely designed site to boot. check this guy out. some people… something about too much time… hands… etc. (though, admittedly, the hilarity of scotty crowe stickers, available from the site, that say SCOTTY IS MY CROWE PILOT… oh my… that’s just too good. and then there’s the bad night-time camcorder video of mayer thanking the web administrator of the site for “making [scotty's] head even bigger.”) i am drawn to this site like a mangled car wreck that i can’t look away from.

hmm…

MCD and i went to spartanburg last night for him to speak at a college/young professionals-type bible study. on the way there, we got into a discussion (shocker) about whether God is somehow “hurt” when we sin. as in, does God become unhappy/morose/pissed-off/etc. when i do wrong things. i definitely think that those qualities are sometimes attributed to God in the scriptures, but i have a hard time imagining His emotions are anything like what i know of emotions from a human perspective. me projecting my ideas about what God “feels” based soley on what i feel is a truly stupid-human thing to do.

so, coming from that perspective, we pass a church, which is of course outfitted with an easily interchangeable sign to put stupid sayings on (that only people who actually go to church find at all “good”)… however, this one went with the classic stand-by of just having a bible verse on it. “THE JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH” (nehemiah 8:10, i think.) which immediately got me thinking (shocker, again)…

i’ve heard that verse hundreds of times in my life, but always assumed (danger) it was referring to “the joy of the Lord” being something i possessed, as in “the joy the Lord gives to me.” after the convo on God’s emotions, though… (and i think God is a happy God… He is happy because He is good) then the verse becomes, literally, “the joy that the Lord possesses is my strength.” i’m strong, in essence, because God is happy, because He is joyful… (because He IS JOY.) if He weren’t joyful… if He were literally “hurt” every time i, or any other human, sinned… He’d NEVER BE HAPPY. and what would i have to be strong in? where would my strength come from? (me? are you kidding? have you ever been alone with yourself for more than a few minutes?) i’m able to do anything because HE is good… and full of joy.

GO BUY BARNES’ NEW ALBUM. HOLY CRAP™ HOLY CRAP™ HOLY CRAP™

i just got it in the mail. so good.

yesterday… was… gorgeous.

after church (and a fantastic message on PORN!!! yaaay. any time you get to hear about porn in church it’s fun… actually, seriously… i’m glad our church doesn’t back off of talking about stuff like that. america will spend something like 1.3 mil on porn in the next hour… sick.) we had a nice picnic on the anderson college front lawn, land of nice grass, tall oak trees, and domesticated squirrels. and then… i slept. for four hours. that’s not a nap. 20 minutes is a nap. four hours is officially sleeping. drooling on your pillow, where the heck am i?, what day is it? sleeping. and it was good, i tell you.

last night… i went to the metal show.

let me explain. my bro-in-law is in a metal band called calus. so, me and the sis (and MCD and brown) headed to blackey’s bar (yes, it is as seedy and hole-in-the-wall as it sounds) for the metal show. they’re freaking great. growing up as a total-metal-kid™, i have an appreciation for all things metallic, if done well. they deliver the goods. smart music is smart music, whether it’s derek trucks or justin timberlake (like i need to link timberlake….) or whether it’s a local metal band in the corner of a bar.

a fun show, thanks to handy ear plugs, though i think my clothes will smell like smoke for weeks. it puts things in perspective though… as a Christ-follower, to see the people that i know need the gospel… and i know they’ve heard it hundreds of times. but we have to frame it and contextualize it and communicate it in a way that it makes sense to them. never walking into a bar and meeting these guys where they are… that’s not the way to do it. and never building relationships with them? that’s the quickest way to prove their misconceptions about christians not really caring about them.

also, a pleasant surprise today. late breakfast with tlc… who i unfortunately only get to see about once every three months. but lucky me, she played in g’ville last night. we got to catch up over some ihop french toast. mmm… mmm… i give you the finger, atkins diet. tlc is recording again soon… and some of my favorite musicians are playing on it. can’t wait.

having friends is great.

if you’ve been thinking, “hey… i could really use a new desktop wallpaper… one that makes me smile… one that makes me cry… one that is swank-ily designed… one that has a picture of chris brown gazing into my eyes with that ‘hey, baby’ look on his face… yes, that look that says more than words could do justice… more than poems could express…” if that’s you… and i know it is… i have a present for you.

merry march 5, kids. you can thank me later.

also, speaking of swank design, my friend aaron martin has left relevant and is now sitting pretty with the hydragraphik crew. (a shame, i want him all for myself… er… in a designer sense. as in i want him to work here… nevermind.) you want a website? cd packaging/print work? they’re doing great stuff. check ‘em out.

I forgot to mention the wonderful haiku Burdette sent to me. I must share:

Salutations, friend!
I don’t have your home number.
Reveal it to me.

I think it’s time for haiku pick-up lines. Feel free to submit your best in the comment section. The house rules for the Innagural Haiku Pick-Up Line Poetry Slam are as follows:

1.) It has to be haiku. (Self-explanatory, you would think, but just in case, that’s 5/7/5).

2.) Keep it clean, you pervs.

3.) Go. (Not really a rule as much as it is an exhortation).

haiku… for you.

you want an update?
this OUTRAGEOUS THURSDAY™ was
a beautiful break.

yes, today i feel refreshed. OUTRAGEOUS THURSDAY™… was awesome. after some seperate sleeping in, MCD and i convened at the noon-ish hour for a leisurely drive to g’ville (key phrase of the day “i am not in a hurry to do anything”). the weather here has been nothing short of spring-time scrumptious lately, so the drive was great. lunch at trio’s (so… addictively… good)… where the ultra-cute hostess’ smile made me smile. that’s always nice.

then we headed to the greenville museum. nothing like the looks you get when two heterosexual men walk into the museum in the middle of the day together. however, the unexpected suprise of the day award goes to the museum… for having a massive collection of andrew wyeth‘s watercolor paintings. getting to see hay ledge, which is one of my favorite pieces of art, up close… was the highlight of my day. (by the way, i have never been more convinced that paintings need to be seen in person to fully appreciate them than now. looking at his work yesterday from three feet away… versus looking at stuff online? you should just come to greenville.) there was also a collection of alfred maurer paintings… but modern painters make me want to hoy my lunch all over the place. personal preference. if you disagree, no biggie. enjoy decorating your house with ugly modern paintings of freakishly out-of-proportion people.

speaking of which, i also found an interesting quote on one of the comment cards in another collection there. from james de veaux: “modern artists of course dwindle into mere copyists – and poor miserable devils they are.” not so much interesting because it is true for the modern art genre, but interesting because de veaux died in 1844… and i think his quote still stands for what we consider modern… or post-modern… or anything else.

a little stop by coffee underground rounded out the day in g’ville. i do enjoy downtown. (and hopefully will be playing at coffee underground soon… i’ll keep you updated.) hopefully future OUTRAGEOUS THURSDAYS™ will take lessons from this OUTRAGEOUS THURSDAY™ on how to be awesome.

last night, admittedly, was slightly less-than-outrageous. i spent most of the evening cleaning out the trooper… and getting it towed because it will not start. i think my truck is dead. if not dead, at least very tired. if not tired, at least tempermental. i don’t really know what i’m going to do. if it costs more than $200 or $300… it’s really not worth it to fix him. but it’s not like 1.) i have the money saved up to buy something else or 2.) i’m going into debt to get a car. i refuse. hmm… oh well. it will work itself out somehow.

i’m not typically one for video games, BUT… the most fun web-game ever, online duckhunt (yep, it’s a classic… but it rules you) just got even better. now it has a high score list. the competitive part of me (which is pretty much all of me) fears for the amount of time i might be inclined to spend playing that game just to beat the high score of someone that i don’t even know. men are quirky like that.

apple has a new app called garageband which will soon find a home with me. i’m thinking i’ll just use garageband to record a 6 song ep this summer, and be a complete mac snob about it all. so, you like it? yeah… i recorded the whole thing on my mac…yeah… i know… good, right? or something like that. here’s what mayer pulled out of his booty at the macworld expo using garageband. the guitar is live, the “band” is all software instruments from within garageband. not bad for $50 kids.

speaking of garagebands, brown and i are going to try to start playing a few shows together. now that AVERY™ is apparently no more (liz being in colorado for the semester and love being all engaged and stuff), we needed a new name… so we give to you the gift of PROM NIGHT FIST FIGHT™. hey, kids… rock and roll… rock on.

i noticed while looking over the site last night that i’ve posted quite a few “i want this” entries lately. i generally don’t consider myself too materialistic… but maybe i’m just fooling myself and i really do try to buy stuff thinking it’ll make me happy. you know, because cell phone pda’s or new comfy saucony’s or a laptop or a new pair of rainbows (to replace the well-worn and loved pair i left at a hotel in NC) or garageband or [ insert product/service/well-marketed thing here ] really will change something about my life. ok… so i don’t buy that. (witty, eh?) but i still want the stuff. strange.

to continue the trend of random linking… jenn has cool things to say. today’s quote that made me smile? “i’ll forgive sophia coppola for dating keanu reeves because she is a brilliant artist and lost in translation is perfection.”

that’s all i got today…

perhaps it is selfish… but i want a laptop.

i completely forgot to link micah’s newest version of micah kandros design. he’s so good. for so many reasons.

1. i watched the great american cinematic classic better off dead, which he owns, at his casa last time i was in nashville. a young john cusack, some killer paper boys, and the famous racecar-driving, howard-cosell-talking ree brothers… you can’t go wrong. (except for the bad judgement call of the dancing fast food claymation scene… that was truly unforgivable, even for the 80′s)

2. he’s a great designer. (yep, that simple)

3. he takes pictures that capture great moments. like this one and this one. and so many more.

4. the fact that he and barnes have inhabited the same living space is frighteningly hysterical.

5. the site redesign is so sexy (yep, sexy… no regrets for saying it) that it makes me giddy.