1. Liberals
2. People who drive convertibles with the top down and the windows up
3. The iPhone rave
4. Why the radio plays the same (crappy) 20 songs over and over
5. Internet Explorer
it’s almost as if you hate every vehicle i like. the 4 door sahara is smokin hot. you are he-man to my skeletor. rust to my destro.
Shin splints to your Steve Prefontaine.
1. Calculus
2. Why anyone cares about Rosie O’Donnell
3. My bank account’s fondness for 3 digit balances. (decimal included)
4. How Blankenship packs so much cool into that frame
5. Why we can’t invent a food that tastes good and makes you skinny.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
1. conservatives
2. paris hilton
3. lindsay lohan
4. nascar
5. the stock market
1. The United States Of America
2. Republicans and Democrats and Independents
3. Self-Importance and Ego and Celebrities
4. Television and News Magazines and the FOX News Network
5. Mute Math, Coldplay, Muse, 50 Cent, Sufjan Stevens and Michael Bay
Florida: Where America goes to die. I think Underoath had a shirt that said that. I’ve never lived anywhere else.
1. Fame/Celebrity-ism:
– why would people want to know about or how to contact Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan?
– but on the same card, if I want to be friends with Hayley Williams or Emma Watson, I shouldn’t have to have my dreams shattered. They should be normal people in normal phonebooks with no “OMG! Your.. Your.. YOUR _______!!!” being brought up. EVER!
2. Texas Weather:
– Humidity = NO!
– 98F on a flood-like day = NO!
3. Close-minded People:
– “I only listen to classical music. ONLY.” … Get real. Find a reason to like every type of music.
4. Procrastination:
– “Hey, I’m getting paid to do this! Oooo! Oreos, Milk, and what am I supposed to be doing?”
5. Younger people who are better than me:
– 15yr old musicians who slaughter!
– 5th graders who start their own multi-million dollar companies (true story here in Spring, Tx.)
Florida is bad ass.
I heart Whole Foods.
1. Musicals
b. Reality TV
III. Benefit Concerts
$. Why this is funny
ยจ. Enumerated lists
1. how i’ve seemed to randomly cut myself so many times over the last few days. . .ouch!
2. chicken mcnuggets
3. frat boys
4. debt
5. high gas prices
1. Michigan, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Ohio, et. al.
2. German potato salad
3. Thomas Pynchon’s brain
4. Old Navy
5. Buddytown
About The Author
I'm a graphic designer and sometimes writer living in Anderson, South Carolina. I serve as the Design Director for NewSpring Church. I love Jesus, my wife, Levi's Jeans, good Tex-Mex, and 8oz glass bottle Coca-Cola Classic. On good days I love them roughly in that order. Email me.
Five Things I Don’t Understand
Fri 07/13/07
1. Florida
2. People who shop exclusively at Whole Foods
3. Straight leg jeans
4. Updos
5. 4-door Jeep Wranglers