I’m So Bored I’m Awake

I just finished coding a little site, but to be honest, there’s no reason for me to really be up right now. (Of course, convincing my body of that has proven to be a fruitless endeavor thus far). I’m bored. Painfully bored. So bored that watching grass grow sounds like an interesting proposition for a Friday night. So bored that I put together a website and re-wrote my resume tonight. And i’m not just bored in a localized sense; this boredom isn’t confined to today or this week or this month. I’m completely bored with almost every facet of my life right now. I hate this. 

I want something to change, something to happen. I’m not being lazy, but I also know i’m not going to be able to manufacture whatever the the next fix for my restlessness is, either.

I applied for a job today in Oceanside, California. I’m generally excited about the prospect, feel free to pray if you’re given to such things, but i’m also wondering if it’s simply my way of dealing with the boredom. Am I daydreaming ways to get out of the place in life i’m sitting in now? Is applying for interesting jobs (on opposite coasts) my defense mechanism? I’m not wired to enjoy a “normal life” but i’m also not made to walk through too many idle days without caving in on myself with too much introspection and analyzation. 

I don’t want to MAKE something happen. That would just be the answer that I think is best, and those answers are so rarely the best scenario, no matter how (arrogantly) smart I think I am.

Bleh. I think too much.