Not Knowing Things Sucks

I’m all for learning, reading, and generally becoming a vastly intelligent person, thus gaining knowledge so I can live a more enjoyable life and share such knowledge with other people so that they can live more enjoyable lives. That being said, I think it’s been awhile since an attempt to learn something new has humbled me as much as the last few days of tackling PHP code for this blog and a few other web projects. 

To be completely honest, i’m seriously frustrated because I CAN’T DO SOMETHING. I’m not trying to say i’m this amazing, unquenchable wealth of talent or anything, but not being able to figure this stuff out has really knocked the wind out of me, metaphorically speaking. 

I’m not discouraged (i’m too frustrated and stubborn to be discouraged), I just have a new perspective on how easily I can slip into the mindset that I don’t need anyone’s help and that I can figure it all out on my own. I think it’s a shame that I ask for help so infrequently. And the fact that I only ask for that help when i’ve reached the end of my own abilities tells me that maybe that infrequency is because I simply don’t stretch myself enough. I may pay lip service to wanting to learn and grow and get wisdom and knowledge, but I think I just take the wide, lazy route more often than not.

Not knowing things DOES suck. But then you break through it and learn something and it all clicks, you realize how good not knowing things can be because it pushes you to overcome. In other words, what’s going to happen now is that i’m going to defeat PHP and then eat its heart, thereby gaining the strength of my enemy and becoming virtually invincible.