I Can’t Keep Up

Quirky, the timing of things these days. Exactly 12 hours from the time I wrote the On The Edge of Everything post, I got a call back from a design firm that I had contacted the day before about an in-house designer position. And at 11:00am on Thursday, I have a job interview for that position. In another state.

Fighting back the urge to play the scenario game is taking the majority of the energy I have right now, and I am failing horribly. There are rampant possibilities running around in my head. The scenario that I could conceivably be living in another state and working a 9-5 (ish) soon is a bit strange. Or I might walk through the scenario where I come home in the same position i’m in right now. I can’t say I’d be particularly fond of scenario #2 at this point, but I don’t want to think about either of them or any scenario variations in between because there’s nothing worse than getting worked up over things that don’t exist yet (or at all.)

I want to enjoy the tension of the right now. I want to wonder if this is the turning-of-the-corner type of moment where I measure huge seasons of my life before and after the events and revelations of these few weeks. I want for the path(s) to the next thing to be clear. I want to enjoy living as it unfolds in some very unexpected ways instead of examining it like a science project or calculus problem. And I want to want more.

But right now, I mainly want this job. So if you’re given to such things, your prayers in that direction are welcomed and appreciated.