Dear Hollywood,

Entertainment rumor has it that you have plans to remake one of my favorite movies ever, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. The same rumors say that said remake will star (I can’t even believe i’m typing this) Matt Damon and Ben “Someone Please Neck Punch Me” Affleck. (I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.) 

So, you’re doing a remake of a movie that is basically perfect, which is really nothing new. You don’t have many original ideas. But this casting is the rough equivalent of you karate kicking me repeatedly in the groin and wondering outloud why I don’t like it.

I’ve laughed off the last few tragic remakes that you’ve dumped on us in an attempt to pull money from our wallets. But do you seriusly want me to believe that Damon (though talented) and Affleck (neck… punch) are on par with a 1970 Paul Newman and Robert Redford duo?

Stop urinating on my memories,