Dear Comcast,

You are (apparently) an “internet service provider.” In other words, there is this wonderful resource called the internet, and you provide the service of connecting me to it (for an outrageous fee that only a monopoly could get away with, of course.) The problem is, lately (always) you seem to have this “2 out of 3 ain’t bad” mentality.For instance, typically when I have an issue with you, you simply decide to become an “internet provider” (sort of) and the missing service comes in the form of irritable, unhelpful employees and phone trees so complex I started mapping one out one time while I was being bounced back and forth on hold and eventually just gave up when I RAN OUT OF ROOM ON THE PIECE OF PAPER.This weekend, specifically, you decided to ditch the “internet” part of your duties, and let’s be honest… that’s sort of the most important part.3 out of 3 please,JoshuaP.S. Luckily, due to your weekend of lacking merit, hack director Brett Ratner narrowly avoided getting today’s letter sent to him, expressing how badly X-Men 3 WAS THE VERY DEFINITION OF SUCK.