On Being a Masculine Dude

1. If you must smoke, you cannot smoke menthol cigarettes.

2. If you must drink beer, you cannot drink light beer.

3. If you are going to wear a kilt, you must wear at least 200 lbs and grow a beard first so that nobody gets confused.

4. If you go to a baseball game, you cannot bring a glove hoping to catch a foul ball, because that’s a girly thing to do. You’re a man, you barehand it, that’s the rule.

And if you’ve got a beer in one hand and nachos in the other, you catch it in your teeth, because you’re a man. And when they put your mug up on the bigscreen, you say “Thank you Jesus, for making me male.”

Mark Driscoll, excerpted from the 07/24 Mars Hill Church Seattle podcast (iTMS link)