On Being a Masculine Dude
1. If you must smoke, you cannot smoke menthol cigarettes.
2. If you must drink beer, you cannot drink light beer.
3. If you are going to wear a kilt, you must wear at least 200 lbs and grow a beard first so that nobody gets confused.
4. If you go to a baseball game, you cannot bring a glove hoping to catch a foul ball, because that’s a girly thing to do. You’re a man, you barehand it, that’s the rule.
And if you’ve got a beer in one hand and nachos in the other, you catch it in your teeth, because you’re a man. And when they put your mug up on the bigscreen, you say “Thank you Jesus, for making me male.”
Mark Driscoll, excerpted from the 07/24 Mars Hill Church Seattle podcast (iTMS link)