Dear Ticketmaster,

Typically, I would be shocked and dismayed by additional charges to purchases beyond the scope of the “full price.” However, since your verbiage-savvy copywriters are so good at their respective jobs, I don’t feel bad about the extra $6.80 per ticket (plus taxes and other charges) I pay in addition to the “full price.” Why? Because you refer to said fees as a “convenience charge.”

I mean, I was just shy of massively angry until I saw that I was being given a “convenience charge.” And so I’m sitting in the office – content – thinking “this is just SO DANG CONVENIENT.”

Clever copy doesn’t make you friendly,