Dear Domain-Squatting Blankenships,

All that stands between me and internet brand world domination? For those rare few early adopters or lucky squatters who signed up for various web services and chose urls like flickr.com/photos/blankenship and last.fm/user/blankenship to realize other people with that last name actually USE THE FREAKING INTERNET. 

Flickr Blankenship? You haven’t uploaded a photo since September 18, 2005. And Last.fm Blankenship? You’re still listening to music, scrobbler plugin churning away in the depths of your iTunes, but you haven’t been seen on the site since May 2006. Have you people no sense of netiquette? Get the heck out of the city. I need url consistency here.

Please, magically wake up tomorrow, epiphany in metaphorical hand, knowing that your first priority is to eat a healthy breakfast and then promptly delete your respective (neglected!) accounts. 

And send me a friendly email notifying said events.

Thank you, in advance, for your url aid,
Joshua (/blankenship)